Get Off My Lawn You Rotten Kids!

14 thoughts on “Get Off My Lawn You Rotten Kids!”

  1. Or, to state the obvious…we could better assemble our communities and forms of transit to enhance the ability to navigate one’s environment without a car. We’re going to have to whether we like it or not. The one person-one car paradigm is simply not sustainable.

  2. There are lots of folkways with parking. My wife grew up on Long Island. Parking at the Long Island Railroad train station is scarce, by if you park on the street in the residential area a block or two away the tires get slashed and the paint gets keyed. Virtually none of my wife’s relatives are left on Long Island.

    In NYC, it’s illegal to double park, but in Brooklyn if you do it during alternate side for the street sweeper you aren’t ticketed. But you need to leave a note with a phone number and address in case someone needs to get out.

    In Manhattan, you have people who sit in the cars during alternate side and wait to move them out of the way of the street sweeper, so they won’t get ticketed. Or perhaps pay people to do it for them, because it’s cheaper than paying for a garage. Perhaps there are people who move from alternate side area to alternate side area, getting paid to sit in cars.

  3. A brick through the window would not be amiss either. On the other hand, you could do what I do and fill your garage with bikes and strollers and skateboards and junk.

  4. Towing a car doesn’t solve future blockages. At best, it’s a temporary fix to an ongoing problem. Given your beliefs/blog can you create a sustainable solution?

    Can you paint lines that say Do Not Park Here?
    Can you put up street signs that say Do Not Park Here?
    Can you post a sign on your garage that says to Do Not Block Driveway?

    Three times in recent months is a signal that things can be improved. Johnny, you’re a clever guy, I’m sure you have an answer.

    1. I don’t believe the parking problem is actually a problem. Someone parked illegally and within half an hour the car was towed. That was the solution.

      When I park in a perfectly legal space in the suburbs and I get love notes telling me I’m not welcome I take the hint and stop driving to such places. That’s the solution.

      Usually the “solution” to too little parking is to tear down existing buildings to install more surface parking lots. That’s insane because the buildings are the important part of any town while asphalt is useless except for storing cars. Building multi-level structured parking decks costs $50,000 per space and is usually subsidized by the taxpayers. That’s insane. The real “solution” is to just suck up the lack of parking and have people adjust their attitudes.

      1. Maybe a sign to the effect “Block this Driveway and you WILL BE TOWED” might reduce the incidence of such a-holeness ?

        1. My guess is that people who aren’t aware of the curb cut are unlikely to read signs. Plus our HOA has one member who thinks such signs are unattractive and killed the idea some years ago.

    2. Or put posts on the sides of the driveways. Americans spend an awful lot of time wringing their hands about self inflicted wounds.

  5. Interesting dynamic and I, admittedly, have been on both sides of it (in some respects). To explain: my neighbor across the street has an elder living with her and a nurse visits from time to time (for exercises, health check, etc.). For a long time the nurse would park her car with her rear bumper right on the edge of my driveway (actually just over the part of the drive that curves out to the street). It made it very difficult to get in and out of my drive as I was in danger of hitting her bumper if I turned my wheel as I backed out. After this had happened several times (I had asked her once to simply pull her car up about 6 feet but she never did so) I went over to their house, explained the issue, and asked if, in the future, the nurse could park a little further up the curb as there was plenty of space. From that time forward, the car was parked across the street in front of the neighbor’s home. I’m certain that I was viewed as a grumpy old man in that scenario….

    On the other hand, I went downtown last night and parked illegally in a “painted curb” spot (although not in front of a driveway) to attend a show. As the rehab center was closed, I didn’t see any issue with parking there; nothing blocked, no one inconvenienced. But still not legal.

    We do love to think the entire world revolves around ME. Then again, common courtesy tends to take care of most of these issues.

  6. Love the way only Johnny Sanphillipo can put “idiots blocking driveways” in the larger context of suburban versus urban mentalities. Just goes to show there are no small observations when big thinkers pay attention.

  7. Don’t just blame suburbanites! Don’t forget about city-dwellers in the winter. They invented “dibs.” If you shovel out your parking space, it’s yours. But the old lawn chairs and broken ironing boards still dot the frigid urban landscape like piles of junk that didn’t sell at a suburbanite’s last garage sale.

    Always enjoy the blogs!



    Greg Lindenberg
    Editor, CSP & CSP Daily News
    Winsight Media & Events

    Winsight LLC
    300 S. Riverside Plaza, Suite 1600
    Chicago, IL 60606

  8. That parking job is not a matter of suburban expectations of personal space. It’s the work of an a*****e who can’t think beyond himself/herself. (Can you tell I’m an urban dweller?)

  9. So the difference is norms vs. law, right? The suburbanites have not yet gotten their city council to declare street parking “for residents only” so they are just leaving notes.

    But everywhere it’s illegal to block someone’s driveway, so it’s not as if you are trying to appropriate the public realm as your own as the suburbanites are.

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